Some fairly common mental health advice seems to be to cut out of your life the people who aren’t good for you…but what if that leaves you with no one? Are you better all alone?
And yeah you can go make new friends, seek out new people, but life isn’t always that simple, especially if you have trust issues.
I used to have an average social life, but when my mental health problems started I felt increasingly hurt by people not really understanding what I was going through, and I ended up pushing almost everyone away. At a time when the smallest upset could take me to the edge, it seemed like the only way I could protect myself. I didn’t want to chat to people, go through the whole ‘how are you?’ thing when it almost always seemed to cause me pain; either be honest, and get looked at like a whiner, or lie and say I’m fine, and then internally seethe at having to censor my internal hell.
I don’t know that I’ll ever really unpick the damage I did to my social circle, and most of the time I’m at peace with that, but when I have to cut it back further I feel the burn.