The serious lower back pain continues, and I think the only way for me to get through it is to try and find the positives. That’s how I managed to stay reasonably upbeat during the trapped-gallstone incident – I found three positives:
- According to the people around me, I was handling the pain really well. I had a reason to be proud of myself.
- My doc told me the gallstone pain was equivalent to the pain of child birth, which is something I had always been a bit scared of. Well, now I have an idea of what it will actually be like pain-wise, and as per positive #1, I have reason to believe I can handle it.
- For some people, that gallstone attack would have been awful beyond the pain – it would interfere with a full time job, or child-care responsibilities etc. For me it wasn’t a problem in any other way than just hurting. This sounds weird, and on a logical level I know it isn’t right, but part of me believes in a sense of balance, so me having that attack meant someone else didn’t. And I was probably better positioned to handle this than that person.
Finding positives is proving a lot harder with the back pain. I think I’m handling the pain reasonably well, but it hurts a lot worse than the gallstone did, and I’ve cried a few times. I’ve done better. So pain-handling isn’t something to be proud of this time round, but there is one positive I can think of – this is motivating me to adopt a healthier lifestyle. The excess weight I’m carrying around didn’t cause this pain, but it can’t be helping. And more exercise would strengthen my muscles and reduce my risk of back pain like this in the future. So it’s time for change: appetite-increasing meds will no longer be acceptable excuses for overeating, and I’m going to get back on that exercise bike.
Attitude changes aside, the pain is genuinely a bit better. I had an emergency appointment with my GP yesterday, and after examining me he said the area of my back that hurts is one that’s really easy to injure (there were lots of fancy biology terms, and a model of a spine and pelvis, but this was a bit beyond me!). The upshot is diclofenac acid and codeine. I’m not sure either of those is doing very much, but I guess every little helps.
Unfortunately I couldn’t get started on the anti-inflammatories straight away as you can’t take them on an empty stomach, and I had to fast for six hours before my ultrasound (investigating my gallbladder). As predicted, that scan sucked. The bed I had to lie on was more like a dentist chair, and the technician had me turn onto my sides a couple of time which was a) PAINFUL and b) difficult anyway on a slim dentist chair when you’re trying not to dislodge the towels and gel. Plus she was pressing hard enough that it hurt, but that’s my fault for being overweight.
Anyway, that’s done now, and I get the results sometime next week. I’m currently home with my parents which makes life easier as there’s only one set of stairs to navigate. Despite the pain I’m not in a terrible mood, and I’m beginning to wonder if I have the trazodone (Desyrel) to thank for that. We’ll see. Fingers crossed I get better soon. Please please please let me get better soon!!