Feeling green

Today has been a day of feeling very, very sick. I woke up early, and I was at work by 7:30am, not really deliberately. More of a ‘I feel so yuck that if I don’t go to work right now I’m scared I won’t go at all’.

I do have anti-emetics – Stemetil (Prochlorperazine) – but they’re not brilliant, and they make me really drowsy. My GP prescribed me Metoclopramide but warned me ‘not to take it alone’ because at my age there’s a chance I could have a nasty adverse reaction…funnily enough, I haven’t taken it. If I start actually throwing up I’ll reconsider.

At work one of my colleagues is leaving – my boss gave me a collection fund, and casually asked me to go and buy them a present after work. My heart sank. I had to drive to a supermarket, and I was full of anxiety there and back, mentally shouting at the cashier to hurry up so I could get home. I hate how tiny little things that I used to take for granted are so difficult now.

I was kind of hoping the psychiatric hospital would ring me today for the referral, but no joy.

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